I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
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