The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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