im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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