areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize