she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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