We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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