I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
how can u be prego again
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize