Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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