Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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