So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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