I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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