I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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