You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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