Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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