i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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