She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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