question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had me at cake vodka
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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