arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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