Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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