I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
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and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
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On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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