I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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