her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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