areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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