R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize