it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize