We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
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if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
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Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Someone signed my nipple.
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