You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize