Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize