...so i touched it.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
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Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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