tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize