The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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