five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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