We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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