bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize