I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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