It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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