wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
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Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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