How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
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You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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