She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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