I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
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If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
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It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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