the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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