I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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