i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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