I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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