just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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