Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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