Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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