You smell like stripper and shame
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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