I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize