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My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
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